Friday, February 3, 2012

The sock and the toe…



I have often thought that I should consider changing my name to “Tim.” It’s a short and simple name and I could be formal with it in the “Timothy” kind of way. It’s not hard to spell and pretty easy to say. It’s even a Biblical name, so people would respect me more (don’t think that’s really true, but I could use a little more respect sometimes). Tim has a good ring to it, and I really should think more seriously about it.
What does that have to do with a sock and a toe, you ask? Oh, it’s very important, and has many implications to the toe and sock story. You see, the reason I think I should change my name is to name myself after “Tim (The Tool-man) Taylor.” I’m more like him than I want to admit. I try ridiculous things and they can have a tendency to turn out worse than I expect. I usually think that most projects will take about ¼ of the time they actually end up taking, at twice the cost expected, with unexpected injuries (Do not. I mean DO NOT tell my wife I admitted that). 
I have had some pretty good stories over the years and this is one that seems to be famous (within my huge circle of friends...), or so I have been told. Some of my ideas just haven't ended up being good ones. My fail is with not thinking through my ideas, in this story.
Several years ago, I was getting ready to go to bed and I had socks on that I was ready to remove. I am not a sock in the bed person - they just make your feet itch and get hot - I’m a free spirited foot guy. So I decided to remove them, but I was tired and didn’t want to sit or bend down to get them off. I figured they would just slide off if I pulled them and began to pull them off. The first one came off fine - I leaned against the wall, bent my leg up behind me, pulled the sock by the toe end and it just slipped off perfectly. I didn’t have to bend over and I was ready for sock number two.
I forget to tell you that, when I was doing this, I was in a walk-through closet (not a walk-in - we had a walk through from our laundry room to the master bath - way cool - should start a monster trend, just because of this post). In that closet there was a permanent shelf fixture that I kept my Bill Cosby sweaters in. You may be getting a good mental picture now and are probably forecasting the end result. 
I went for sock number two (right foot, of course - look at this post - Toe and Bug's Bunny - both about my toe) and it got a little stuck. I figured I would pull a bit harder and it would slip right off - I was wrong. I had to pull substantially harder, but it finally gave way. I was not joyous though, because I didn’t figure on the spring action of my bent leg. It was like pumping a one pump BB gun 50 times. My leg was like one of those catapults on “Pumpkin’ Chunkin!’” My foot went down with an incredible force and my shelving unit didn’t move as my pinky toe exploded into it. I was about to cry (well maybe I cried a little)- the pain was intense and it was broken (not the shelf, my toe). 
Now what? Do I go tell my wife? She would laugh hysterically and I would be more embarrassed than I already was. Do I go to the hospital? I would be in one of their internal hospital-wide emails for the most ridiculous emergency room visit. Do I sit there and weep for a while and hope that when I look down, that my toe is back to normal? I just stood there and put my hand on it, comforting the poor little thing. It was very sore, but I just had to go to bed and look forward to the morning. Poor little guy...
My fail in this, is not just the fact that it happened, it’s that I told my College Sunday school class the story the next morning. I didn’t think it was funny. I thought it was a prayer request that needed serious prayer and maybe some fasting, but my class just exploded into laughter at my demise. One person yelled out, while guffawing loudly, “Who takes their socks off like that?” Well, duh, I do...or I did.
Lessons Learned: Just can’t go there today - too painful. 


BTW - that’s a very warm sock pictured above...and it's a freshly washed sock devoid of my foot - my foot is not shaped like a balloon.
Thoughts: Have you ever had a “Tim” moment?

14 comments:

  1. Oh yes, my "Tim" moment was the reason I had to wear purple toenail polish for 8 months.  Purple matched the injured toe in question and it sort-of looked like I had a pedicure.  I was trying to remove a dead carpenter bee from a wood frame for a particular child's bug collection for science class.  One drop on the driveway didn't do it. I thought a much more forceful slam should get the desired results.  The second drop did, but my toe was in the way.  Duh!  If I didn't have such an aversion to bugs, I might have tweezered the creature out and been done with it.  Oh well, the child got the bug for class and I got many practice sessions painting my toes.  Both are things I am glad are in the past.   
     

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  2. Your story may beat mine - funny - thanks for reading...

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  3. I remember you telling us in sunday school like it was yesterday.  Bad thing was, I was sitting next to Ben.  I'm not sure I even listened to anything else you said that morning...Sorry!  I could not quit laughing!  Thanks for the laugh today!!

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  4. I should have used this as an end story, not as an ice breaker...it still hurts to think about it...

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  5. You and your feet Mr. Stumpf...goodness!

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  6. I'ld be in good shape, except for my toes - thanks for reading...

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  7. I cannot quit laughing!!!  I'm sorry to laugh at your pain, but that was very descriptive & hilarious.  I especially loved the phrase..."I just stood there and put my hand on it, comforting the poor little thing"....we do that like it's helps...but I guess it does, or we wouldn't do that.  Oh my, i can't quit laughing!!!!

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  8. Well, you can't do much else but laugh now...I can tell you that I never take my sock off that way anymore...

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  9. danblackonleadershipFebruary 3, 2012 at 11:18 PM

    a persons pain one day will be anthers laugh the next. Man, I still enjoy watching old episodes of Home Improvement, such a great show. I'm not really a hands on person or tool man so I have not had many experiences like he has had. Great story and post.

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  10. Wow Bro. Craig... before I even got to Tim the Tool Man Taylor, that's what I was thinking of. We used to kid our dad of being like him.

    Which toe was it? I actually broke one of my big toes at my 18th birthday party. Playing human foosball of all things. Not fun.

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  11. Why is it always the little toe?  When I was in high-school - in the middle of the night, my dog was outside my window barking her fool head off, in anger I got up to go shut her up; as I exited the bed in a hurry I rammed my foot (right side, little toe and the one next to it) into the bottom of the closet door. I thought I had just stubbed it; until I got back into bed and wondered why it was wet - blood.  I had "scalped" my 2 little toes.  The next day, during gym class, playing basketball, a team mate stomped on the same foot.  Needless to say, it took my breath away.  However, I did manage to get the dog to stop barking...for about 10 minutes. sigh!

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  12. Great thought. It's so true that the laughter comes latter. Glad God gave us a sense of humor.

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  13. Toes are so tender...I broke a bone in that same human foosball death trap too...what a great birthday present you got there...nice.

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  14. Wow - you need a "Tim" post too! Thanks for reading and keep coming back.

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Comments always welcome...