Thursday, April 12, 2012

Answers and fear…



About a month ago I posted a blog about having a bad day. I talked about being downsized recently and the lessons that I learned and how we can make it through with trust in the Lord and we can watch His Grace abound as we need it.
Six weeks into my joblessness, I found that I trust in me way too much…

After I was downsized, I told you that I smiled and just asked the Lord “what’s next?” I really did do that, but when you are searching for a new career, focusing on how to met bills and needs, and doing whatever odd jobs you can - that’s when you realize where your trust really sits. 

I found that I was trusting in me…
I trusted in my emergency funds - they’re gone…
I trusted in my budgeting skills - a budget means very little without an income…
I trusted in my ability to manipulate how I paid bills - again, minimal funds means no payments…
I trusted in my ability to sell myself to my next boss - interviews are hard to come by…
I trusted in all the things that would immediately come to mind for self preservation for me and my family - I don’t have any abilities outside of the Lord…
Then came the pressure and fear…
We received several unexpected medical bills…
Found out that several monthly insurance costs were increasing…
Got a job offer - way lower than I expected…
Found out it will be 4 more months until company benefits kick in…
Realized that no matter how I adjusted our family budget, we were going in the red...soon…
Then came answered prayers (I didn’t just give up trusting the Lord - I still pray and beg Him for the Grace to supply needs)…
Two different families in our church gave us $100…
Two people gave me odd jobs to help with the needs we have…
Two neighbors came to our house with food and some children’s clothing…
I became friends with Craigslist…
A few other folks gave us some food…
My wife got a part-time job offer…
Then came the humility…because I failed...
I didn’t ask for humility in all of this, but I got humbled because…
I ran out of me. I had and have no option, but to just watch the Lord’s hand and see how He provides our needs. I got to the point that He wanted me to, so that I was giving all my trust to Him and not to my plans. He’s the one that supplies our needs, our wants, our desires, and the strength to get through tough times. He is all I need!
I got a job offer, not because of me, but because of the Lord’s timing, His hand of provision and because I ran out of me. 
Lessons Learned: God is so good. We still have needs, but they are no longer my needs, but His needs. I will struggle still, but I'm thankful that I'm learning and that God hasn't given up on me.
Thoughts: Have you ran out of you? Why does it always take so long for me to get rid of me?

5 comments:

  1. I can relate to this. I went through something very similar after the mortgage industry melted down. I ran out of me too. It was the best lesson in learning to trust God that I have ever experienced. Now that I have learned to do that, it has made an amazing difference. Keep trusting. His timing is always better than ours.

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  2. I can relate to this. I was in a similar position a few years ago when the mortgage industry melted down. It was an incredibly hard time. I ran out of me too. It was the best experience in learning to trust God that I have ever had. While it is incredibly difficult when you are going through it, I can tell you that I was a completely different person (for the better) when it was over. Keep trusting that God's timing is always right. Thanks for the honest post.

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  3. Tammy - thanks for the comment...trusting the Lord is the only way.

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  4. Sorry  your going through his hard time, I'll be praying for you. It sounds like even though it's a very difficult season, your attitude is in the right place.

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  5. Dan - that just made my day!!! Thanks for your sensitive comment. BTW - a bad attitude would only make it worse...

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Comments always welcome...