Monday, June 18, 2012

Ripped pants and button popping…



With the tittle, you are immediately thinking that I outgrew my pants, split them and popped a button...well, I didn’t, so stop laughing - seriously, you’re making me mad - I’m a little sensitive. With a physique like mine, it’s hard not to be sensitive...I’m in great shape - oval is a shape...just not the best shape for a human. Whoa, did I digress...
Today’s story is about failing, over and over again. It was one of those days, that just didn’t go right. 
I came into the office, and it went downhill from there…

I actually got stuck in traffic first and just made it in time for some webinar training.
During the training I had to leave to talk to a coworker about an appointment that was coming up in about an hour. As I sat down in his office, my suit pants pocket got caught on his chair arm. It made me bounce out of the chair awkwardly, like a cat that just sat on a cactus, while my coworker looked at me, as if to say “You’re scaring me!”
As my pocket got caught on the chair, the side seam of my pants ripped about a 6 inch tear from the middle of my pocket all the way down my thigh. Remember, I was about to head to an appointment and meet with a customer. I quickly went into action with my incredible secret sewing skills...except, I didn’t have a needle and thread with me.

I went to Publix to buy a needle and thread. 
I’m not very bright, but I knew it would be better to ask where the thread was, rather than walk through the store with this gapping hole in my pants. I asked and it was...in the back of the store! Gimme a break!
Now I’m walking through this large grocery store with my right hand stuck to my side like a Russian soldier, but my left hand was still swinging - BTW, it’s hard to keep your balance when one arm is swinging and you look like an idiot...of course, you look rather strange with both hands stuck to your side too.
I was in a quandary, so I just walked slowly and pretended to look at items avery three feet throughout the store, as I walked. I would bet the security team had a good laugh at my antics.
Now, I didn’t really think this through. If I’m wearing the pants, and I begin sewing, won’t I stab my self in the leg. I tried and the little holes in my leg are proof that you can’t sew your pants in a car.
I then went to the restroom to fix the rip...it only got worse...the button on my pants fell off on the floor, because I was impatiently trying to get this done. I couldn't do this sewing like I planned, so the next thought…
Duct Tape!
That would do it - except I didn’t have any tape either, and then I realized that duct tape would show pretty clearly on the side of my leg as I walked into an appointment.
After all of this, my appointment called, and postponed to the following week...all those holes in my leg for nothing!
I struggle with crazy things happening to me, but I learn a lessons each time, or I try.
Lessons Learned: A list today…
  1. Sewing is a lost art.
  2. I hate office furniture.
  3. Never stick a needle in your leg - it hurts.
  4. You cannot cover up a 6” gapping hole in the side of your pants when you walk.
  5. Never wear pink basketball shorts under your suit pants...just kidding...they were orange...
Thoughts: Have you aver had this happen to you? (wait, really...no possible way this question comes back with a yes)
This story was slightly ad-libbed to protect the innocent involved...
#failalot
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5 comments:

  1. I can relate. When I was dating, and trying to impress, I would always spill something, trip over my own two feet, or any number of other bone-headed things. I'm sure I left an impression, just not the one I would have liked. I feel your pain as you try to hide the oops of the moment only to make it worse. Total Fail.

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  2. Total fail for sure. Thanks for commenting.

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  3. Thanks for sharing your story, it's a great laugh though I'm sure it didn't seem like that to you.

    Back in HS our youth pastor was on stage at a revival and his pants split as he was walking up the stairs. It was really funny! I'm sure really embarrassing for him, but I remember it to this day!

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  4. Hilarious - wish you had some video - I would bet he looks back and laughs now!

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  5. Yeah, laughs now. At the time I remember his face turning very red! I mean, it was a room full of teens, yeah, we didn't let it go unnoticed!

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Comments always welcome...